


Nightmare

by Doreling



Series: TPOH [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: A continuation of 'The Price of Happiness', Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Aromantic, Aromantic Relationship, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Bisexual Le Chien Kim, Dissociation, Dreams and Nightmares, Drugged Sex, F/M, Homophobia, Homosexual Max Kante, M/M, Nightmares, Other, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Rape, Set a year after the end, Trans Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Transphobia, aroace Alix Kubdel, i love my children, oral rape, that's why I put them through hell, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 16:11:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16162340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doreling/pseuds/Doreling
Summary: They were at a party. Alix wasn't sure how she ended up in a hotel room.





	Nightmare

They were at a party. Alix, Kim, Nathaniel, and Max. Some night club they stumbled into and stumbled out of. Alix was living it up on the dance floor, and surprisingly, Nathaniel too. They were swinging and singing and pumped up. Kim and Max hung out in the back, chillin’. Alix had never felt more alive than in those moments, just barely able to perceive the thumbing bass and bodies pressed against her. Nathaniel stayed by her side.

They left the party. Alix and Nathaniel led the way out, hand in hand. Two friends strolling through the night. Kim and Max followed, chatting about game statistics. Best of friends, the four of them.

They were in a hotel room. Why they were there when they lived in the city was a thought that didn’t pass Alix’s mind. She and Nathaniel sat on a bed, still amped from the party. And then they weren’t. They looked at each other and knew. Drugged. Nathaniel’s head dropped, his body fell back on the bed. Alix looked over to Kim and Max, who were undressing in the corner.

“You bastards!” Alix screamed. “I trusted you! You knew I did! How could you do this to me? To us? Why?!”

Kim led her to the other bed and pushed her down onto it. Alix tried to fight him off. She kicked and punched and bit and tore and still Kim held her down, his face determined. Max was at the other bed, pulling off Nathaniel’s pants, his own were already gone.

“It’s true,” Alix cried. “What they say about rape. It is most often done by those close and trusted.”

Kim started to undress her, ripping at her clothes with all his strength. Bare, Alix shivered. Kim was over her, ready.

“I’m so glad,” Max crooned. “That you don’t have a dick, Nate. This makes it so much easier and nicer for me.”

“Why, Kim? I thought we were friends!” Alix screamed as he violated her. “Please stop! Stop stop get off no no nononono! You’re hurting me!” Her tears were running into her hair.

“Alix, if you don’t sHUT UP! I swear I will choke you out and finish without you.” Kim kept going, and going and going and going never stopping never listening going rough and hard and hurting

He put his hand over her throat and pressed, constricting. Alix couldn’t move. Her heart was louder in her ears than Kim’s heavy panting.

“I’ll tell you why.” Kim breathed into her ear. “Because I have been wanting you for so long. I was your friend, I talked to you, went to your birthdays, hung out, challenged you! And still you keep insisting that we’re friends! I want MORE than talking. You keep saying you’re aroace so I tried to respect that you didn’t want to be asked out, but you make it so hard! You make me hard. This is the only way, Alix.”

Oh god was he ever going to stop please please please stop get off get off of me get out of me

“This is really your fault, if you think about it. If you just stopped being so stubborn and see that you’re perfect for me this wouldn’t be happening this way. We’d be doing it at your house, or mine, both really.” Kim paused in her, and moved his hands to her shoulders, pushing them down. Pushing her down, down into the bed and pushing himself deeper and deeper and harder and faster

“Hey, Max. How long do you think I can keep this pace up for? I am an athlete, after all, so I should be able to go for a long time, right?” Kim panted, slowing his pace momentarily.

“Your endurance is certainly longer than mine,” Max quipped as he pulled out of Nathaniel. “Last time you went for twenty minutes. Much better than my ten this time.”

“Yeah, I can definitely do better this go around. Thanks, Alix, you’re helping me set a new record.” Kim smirked down at her. Alix whimpered, wishing she was anywhere else. Somewhere like school. Sitting in a classroom, learning about French literature of the fourteenth century.

“You’re so small, Alix.” commented Kim, looking her up and down. “I bet you won’t be able to walk for a week after this. I think my dick reaches up to your stomach.” He groaned. “Ohh, if you were enjoying this even half as much as I am right now.” He grabbed at her chest, squeezing and pinching as he pleased. “You’re so flat.”

Alix could feel her skin tearing, it hurt so so much. And even when she kept crying out in pain he just. kept. going  and going and pushing her further over the edge

Her head hit the wall. And again. And again and again. Kim stopped his motions and pulled out, grabbed Alix’s thighs and ran his hands down to her ankles and pulled her body away from the wall. For that moment, Alix thought he had finished. But then he stuck his hands in her. His nails scratched at her roughly. He brought his hands out and wiped the blood and mess onto Alix’s face. Max came over and wrenched her mouth open. He held her jaw open as Kim shoved himself in.

“Dare me to pee on her?” Kim asked. “Want a go with her now?”

Kim got off of Alix and let Max push himself into her with a moan. Kim went over to the other bed and started on Nathaniel. His pace was slower than before.

Max went slowly. “I want to study every inch of you,” Alix thought he looked stupid without his glasses.

“The best part about fucking you two,” Kim said, thrusting harder. “Is that we don’t have to worry about catching diseases. We know you two are virgins. And let me tell you, Alix. Sex is so much better without condoms.”

“Not to mention,” Max groaned, pulling Alix’s hips closer to his. “The likelihood of queer folk following through with pregnancy is a low number.”

“I didn’t think Nathaniel would pass out so quickly. Girls her size usually last longer. She’s missing all the fun we’re having.” Kim pulled off Nathaniel’s shirt. “Let’s check out how big her tits are without this binder on.”

Alix had stopped registering their words what seemed like hours ago. She kept crying.

Kim was on top of her again. He and Max came and went all night. Nathaniel stayed passed out.

Alix vomited. Once. Twice.

Kim’s breath was hot in her ear.

\---

Alix awoke with a start, tears streaming down her face. Her heart thrummed louder than anything she had ever heard before. She checked her surroundings. She was in her own room, in her own bed, wearing her pajamas. The clock beside her bed read 3:27 in neon green. She fumbled to grab her phone.

She tapped on Kim’s contact and held her phone to her ear. She was dreading the moment he picked up. She didn’t want him to pick up. He answered.

“Alix,” He yawned. “It’s like two in the morning, why are you calling me?” She could hear the fresh sleep in his voice. She shuddered.

“Nightmare,” was all she said.

“Oh, is that all?” He yawned again. “Well, do you wanna talk about it?” She could hear him scratching his scalp through the phone.

“Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know.” Alix took a steading breath. “I just woke up and I’m still trying to process it dude. It was really scary.”

“What was it about?”

“Bad stuff.”

“Wow, very description, much specific.”

“Shut up, asshole. I don’t want to hear memes this time of day.” Alix could already feel her panic subsiding.

“Ah, but I can hear you smiling. But really, it must have been terrifying to get you panicked about it.”

“Is Max there with you?”

“Yeah, he’s right here. Want me to wake him up?”

“Umm, I don’t know. You were both in my dream.” There was some shuffling noises and hushed voices coming from the other line.

Max’s voice came through the phone. “Dream analysis might not be my area of expertise,” Alix pictured him pushing his glasses up his nose. “But I can listen, if that will help.”

“We both can,” Kim added.

“Are you sure? ‘Cause it’s like really, really bad.”

“Alix, just tell us already before Kim puts his shoes on and runs to your place. You know it will only take him six minutes thirty-five seconds.”

“Ha!” Kim snorted. “I’d be quicker than that without all the regular pedestrians out.”

“Fine,” Alix huffed. “Okay, but, like, let me finish and don’t interrupt me ‘cause I only want to say it once so then I can never have to think about it again.”

“Agreed.”

“So, us three were at a party, right? And Nathaniel was there too. He and I were dancing and living it up and you two were in the back dicking around or some shit, then we end up in a hotel room and Nate and I realize we’ve been drugged, he passes out and then you two rape us and Kim was saying it’s all my fault for not having sex with him because I’m aroace and Max was saying how wrong Nathaniel was for transitioning or something I don’t remember, and I kept trying to fight you two off and you wouldn’t stop and Kim, you kept making it hurt and I was crying and screaming and Max, you held my mouth open while Kim mouthraped me and then it went on for hours and hours and I’m really freaked out ‘cause you two are my best friends and I KNOW you would never do that let alone think that, but that wasn’t even the worst part of the dream because you two mentioned that drugging and raping girls was a regular weekend thing and then you tried to convince me I was great for that because I’m a virgin and wouldn’t stay pregnant because I’m queer, anyways I’m still very panicked because it all felt so real but how would I know what being raped would feel like? I’ve never been fully raped, assaulted maybe but not raped but that was fine and it doesn’t bother me anymore but maybe it does and so I’m really really really sorry my subconscious is a shitty person for thinking that of you two.” Alix hadn’t realized she was crying again.

Silence.

“…wow… umm…”

“That sounds very traumatic. I’m sorry you had to experience it.”

“I’m really really sorry for having to tell you two but it’s better than me crying at school right? And I know I can’t tell Nate because it hits way too close to home for him. And I’m really freaking out-”

“Hey, hey, Alix breathe.” Kim’s voice was soft. “It’s not your fault. It will never be your fault.”

“Kim is right. Alix, you are valid to have ongoing anxiety. A traumatic event such as the one you went through is not easily forgotten. You are an amazing person. Kim loves you. I love you. You father, your brother, your whole family loves you. All of our friends adore you. We are here to support you, Alix, even if you think it’s stupid.”

“PTSD is a real bitch sometimes. I hate this.”

“What specifically do you hate?”

“Just,” Alix sighed, trying to form the words. “I hate feeling helpless to all of this. Not being able to fight men off easily. I know it was just a dream because I can totally kick your ass, Max, full offense. But what about big men? Like Kim? I’m still not strong enough. I just don’t think I could do it, I know I can’t do it. I’m too small and stupid for thinking I can defend myself-“

“No.”

“What?”

“You’re not too small. You’re not too stupid. Alix Kubdel you listen to me, you can do whatever you put your mind to. I’m here to tell your spiraling thoughts to stop belittling you like this. You are strong, and capable and a million other things. You are not less of a person for being scared.”

“But-“

“No. Kim should be knocking on your door right about now, so I’d go let him in.” There was a knock.

“Damn, Max, you’re good.” Alix let Kim inside. They went back to Alix’s room.

“Now, Alix, don’t feel guilty for keeping us up or for stealing my boyfriend for the rest of the night. That’s what we do. We support each other. I do need to get some sleep now, so Kim is your teddy bear for now. Good early morning to you both.” Max hung up.

“You two are such good friends!” Alix started crying again.

“Do you want cuddles tonight, or a figurative shoulder to cry on? I don’t know what you’re up for right now.” Kim took off his trainers and placed them by her bedroom door.

“Totally, completely, platonic cuddles please.” Alix dove into his arms. Kim held her for the next few hours until she fell asleep again. When Max checked in at noon, they were still in her bed, blissfully asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a very terrifying dream I had this past weekend, and it just fit into the way I'm shaping 'The Price of Happiness'. I'm still working on that, it's just hard to write about.  
> I want you all to know that if you ever go through a trauma, it is NOT your fault and you are valid for still having lasting effects from that trauma. Your trauma is valid. You are valid.


End file.
